After a short hiatus, I’m back! I’d apologise for the break but between the sleep deprivation and the fact my eyebrows have now formed a monobrow, let’s just say I’m doing my best.
It’s certainly been a ride lately.
This experience with Esmé has been wildly different from my journeys with Bobby and Florence. And while I constantly tell myself not to compare, of course I’m bloody comparing.
Good news first: we’re finally starting to see a shift in Esmé’s reflux. It’s still lingering, but we’ve left the worst of the mess behind (although I’ve probably jinxed it just by saying that).
I didn’t get the overnight miracle post her tongue and lip tie procedures like some people rave about but apparently, for some babies, it can take months for the effects to show. We’re now finally seeing more tongue movement, so I’m reassured she’s learning how to use it properly after it being stuck down for so long.
I also incorporated a few other changes: switching to Dr Brown’s bottles (renowned for gassy bubs) and moving her onto Aptamil Gold Reflux formula. I was quite taken back by the thickness of it initially but it seems to sit much better in her stomach. So I’ll happily take it!
She’s now rolling back and forth, sitting (briefly) like a drunk yoga instructor and most impressively, robbing me of my blueberry muffin and shoving it in her mouth with swift precision. That’s when the ‘ready for solids’ light went DING in my head.
When it comes to my previous solids journeys, Bobby started around 4.5 months, Florence was more of a seven-month gal, and Esmé? Well, when she mugged me for my baked goods at 5.5 months, that was my cue. She’d also been intently watching us eat for over a month and while I didn’t want to rush things given her tummy struggles, I’d been handing her spoons to play with for weeks and observing her readiness.
Her current faves: sweet potato, carrot, broccoli, and gnawing on a lamb chop. We’re only on one ‘solid’ feed a day for now and I find lunchtime works better, since dinner-time feeds seemed to trigger more wind overnight (cue the fart reel).
And lastly, everyone’s favourite baby topic: sleep!
Here’s the truth. Sleep’s been decent… ish. As previously mentioned, from around 7 weeks, she’s only been waking once a night. A bottle, quick nappy change, back to sleep. Textbook stuff. No complaints.
So naturally, I assumed we’d be getting full nights by now. LOL.
Some nights she does her standard one wake. Other nights, it’s every hour. Unsettled, crying, hot, cold, you name it.
She always goes down well initially in her cot, then usually ends up co-sleeping with us after her feed. The unpredictability right now is brutal.
Some nights I feel like I’m crawling back through the trenches of newborn life and the comparison trap strikes again. I feel like I’ve done everything “right”. Everything that worked for the other two, I’ve done again. Yet here we are. Again.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel like I’m failing, like I should know how to do this by now given that Essie is my third.
Some days too, I really feel like I’m letting Maddy down because I can’t for the life of me figure this out. Especially considering she works such a physically and mentally demanding job.
But let’s end with a positive, and what a beautiful one it is.
Our little angel has certainly discovered her voice on a greater scale, and boy don’t our neighbours know about it.
I like to call it singing and it can be heard at all hours of the night.
But our most favourite (granted, it’s when she’s sad) is the amount of MAMA MAMA MAMA we are both getting.
In those moments, we forget the devil that exists at 2am :)