They say every baby is different, and little Essie is no exception, my first child born with both a tongue and lip tie. To be honest, I’d heard of them before, but I didn’t know much detail or the effects they can have on feeding. And I certainly wasn’t prepared for what the months ahead would bring.
Nothing about feeding or settling came easy for our little girl. What started as a slightly tricky latch quickly turned into a full-blown journey through pain, reflux, wind, and screaming. Oh, the screaming. Seeing your little one’s face so red with pain while doing everything you can to relieve them… it was an exhausting mental battle, constantly questioning: “Is this normal?” or “What more can I do?”
In the early days, I uploaded a gorgeous snap of Essie in the bath. And despite the usual horror stories we hear about unsolicited advice on social media, this time, I was grateful. A couple of lovely women reached out – not in an invasive way – but gently pointed out something they recognised from their own children. The tip of her tongue was heart-shaped and didn’t seem to poke out fully. Without those messages, I would’ve been none the wiser.
Not knowing exactly what to look for, I inspected her tongue and noticed it seemed very tightly attached to the bottom of her mouth. At our next Maternal Health Nurse appointment, I mentioned it – and my suspicions were confirmed.
What I’ve since learnt is that tongue ties can (but don’t always) cause:
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Poor latch and fussiness
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Excessive gas and wind
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Reflux symptoms (hello, spewing!)
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Clicking noises during feeding
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Milk dribbling from the mouth
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Difficulty staying on the boob or bottle
Esmé had all of the above.
The air she was swallowing during feeds led to hours of unsettled behaviour. I remember crying to my mum, saying, “I just want my happy baby,” because for a while there, she was only content for about 10 minutes a day. We were trapped in a cycle of reflux and wind that nothing seemed to fix.
Reflux became our constant companion, constant vomiting to be exact. Before feeds, after feeds, even after a three-hour nap, she’d wake and still projectile vomit. She was never truly relaxed. We tried everything: upright feeding, paced bottle feeding, keeping her upright for 30+ minutes after every feed (even at 3am), relentless burping, formula changes, probiotics, an elevated bassinet. Nothing helped.
I felt completely broken. Helpless.
Then came the diagnosis. After being referred to an amazing specialist, Dr Hand in Airport West, it was quickly confirmed that Essie had both a tongue and a lip tie. It finally made sense, I’d never been able to get her upper lip to flange out properly when feeding, something I vividly remember my other babies doing.
As petrified as I was for Essie to undergo the procedure, I was also relieved. Not because I wanted something to be "wrong", but because we finally had an explanation and a path toward a solution.
At four months, she had both her tongue and lip ties released via laser – a procedure called a frenectomy.
It took less than five minutes.
We’re only on day two, and I can already see improvement. Feeding is noticeably easier, she’s feeding more efficiently, and burping takes half the time, likely because she’s no longer swallowing as much air. And for the first time ever, I can actually see her move her tongue!
I’m annoyed at myself for not noticing it earlier but that’s mums, hey? We’re always so hard on ourselves for things no one expects us to know.
In full transparency, the aftercare isn’t enjoyable – for bub or for me. We need to do stretches before every feed, which means lifting the tongue and massaging the wound to prevent it from reattaching. It’s horrible. But it has to be done. And all I keep thinking is: I don’t want to put her through another revision.
I can’t give you a whole lot more just yet, but I’ll be back with an update in a few blog posts’ time to let you know how our little girl is going. xx
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