Pregnancy In Your 30's VS 20's

If you find yourself in a situation similar to mine, with a significant age gap between your children and even for yourself between your pregnancies, this just might resonate with you.

The most common question I get is, “Wow, how is it being pregnant again after so long?”

The truth is, while I still feel youthful and certainly don’t consider myself “old” when it comes to pregnancy, I was in my early to mid-20s with my first two children. Now, in my mid-30s pregnant again, it’s clear that the experiences will differ in some ways.

Here’s what I’ve found so far:

Physical differences:

I’ve spent years since 2021 working closely with my obstetrician and fertility specialist, not always out of ‘need’ but out of precaution to track my fertility and make sure I was able to have the option open to me if and when the time came. I prepared my body back in 2022 for a pregnancy by having my tubes flushed (to check for any blockages prior to commencing fertility treatment) and when that didn’t eventuate, I stayed in touch regularly with my specialist to ensure that despite my age, my goal of getting pregnant again was still an option. Therefore the precautionary check ups & testing were certainly something I needed to consider a lot more being older.

Exercise and recovery time is also something I feel the weight of heavily. My body simply doesn’t recover like it once did, and despite believing I am exercising more in this pregnancy than I did in my prior two, my body feels heavier and slower with many more aches & pains that’s for sure.

Intuition with my body is certainly a huge difference, as being older & more matured has guided me to be in tune with exactly what my body wants & needs. I’m much more care free than I once was - following a lot of things ‘by the book’ - and now trust my body and mind with knowing what we can do together.

Emotional Differences:

Reiterating the above, the confidence I have now as a 34 year pregnant vs a 22 - 26 year old is unparalleled. First of all, it took me a great deal of maturity to reach the point of wanting to embark on the journey alone, and now the maturity I have when it comes to how I look pregnant, what I need/don’t need, how I plan to birth - basically all my major decision making - I trust my own judgement completely without the need for input of anyone.

Support systems also change with time & age. I live with many different dynamics now in comparison. I have three older sisters and between us we currently have 12 grandchildren - the little girl in my belly being the thirteenth - so I have an immense amount of family support. I was also the first of my circles to have kids so now having close friends around me I sit more in a familiar life stage to them as they grow their families and therefore puts me in a place to have more in common with them.

My expectations are also much more realistic now; not only those I put on others around me, but the ones I also put on myself.

Lifestyle changes:

Again, as above, the social change for me having been ‘out of the trenches’ for so long to now be about to dive straight back into them! I have spent quite a few years having some freedom liberties; those from having slightly older children who are more independent everyday and don’t necessarily need to be on their beck and call, but also being in a co-parenting family dynamic where my two kids spend every second weekend at their Dad’s house. Whilst it’s not much of a break, I have certainly look forward to being able to breathe in the silence on those fortnightly breaks - ones that will soon be filled with echos of a newborn cry!

Being a 34 year old single mother with complete financial independence to raise my children and create the life I want for us all is also a great difference, but also a huge positive. In order for me to to even get pregnant has cost me thousands & thousands of dollars over the years, and having a child by choice also sees me with a future on raising another one independently. I am privileged and bless yes to be in this position to be able to have access to this life yes, but also immensely proud of myself as a once 22 year old who got knocked up and “ruined her life.”

I’d say overall, life experience plays such a crucial deference here. The learnings Ive been able to take from life between then and now have led me to be a more confident and independent woman ready to tackle motherhood for the third time with nothing but her own gut guiding her.

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