I apologise in advance if you’re sick of reading blogs about sleep. But the reality is, it’s my whole goddamn life! I’ve never been so consumed by anything before. Not work, not footy, not even The Summer I Turned Pretty. Just sleep. Or more accurately, the lack of it.
I have a baby who isn’t the worst sleeper but she’s not good. And almost nine months in… I’m cooked.
I’ve always said I’m not one for sleep training. Important to note, however not against it... it just wasn’t for me and my lifestyle. Most of my sisters and friends swear by strict routines, white noise and timed settles. Meanwhile, I’ve always been the kind to be led by my baby and their needs, often making me the odd one out in our parenting journeys.
But in hindsight, that’s probably because I’ve never had to consider otherwise. My first two were great sleepers. Sure, we had the usual night feeds and early starts, but nothing that made me feel this desperate for help. I used to think sleep training sounded too rigid, too clinical, too far from my natural go-with-the-flow parenting style.
But this time… things are different.
My third little love has completely rewritten my own parenting playbook. Her sleep (or lack of it) has me in uncharted territory. I’m actually considering gentle sleep training. Not because I’ve changed who I am as a mum but because I’ve changed where I’m at in life.
Maddy and I are lucky in that our work allows some flexibility. On bad nights, one of us will take the reins with Esmé while the other tries to survive with a few hours of rest. But the truth is, both of us have jobs that require actual functioning brains and semi-rested bodies. We’re juggling three kids with three different schedules, a house move, an AFLW season and the kind of chaos that only parents of little ones can really understand.
And now I’ll admit… I get it. I fully understand why some parents turn to sleep training.
Maybe because they can.
Perhaps because they need to.
Because, at the end of the day, sleep is survival.
That’s the thing about motherhood (and honestly, life). It keeps teaching you that you’re allowed to change your mind at any point. You can grow, evolve, and say, “You know what? Maybe I’ll try this differently,” even if it’s something you once swore off completely.
If you’re wondering why it’s taken me this long, the honest truth is sheer stubbornness. I’ve been determined to “fix it myself”, which only left me more frustrated that, third time around, I still don’t have all the answers. We saw small improvements after making some dietary changes for Essie, but just as one issue settled, something else popped up. And now we’re at our limit. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
I’ve also held off because we’ve been between homes, currently camping out at Maddy’s while waiting to move into our new family home. Essie’s been sleeping about 30cm away from us in a port-a-cot and I’ve wanted to wait until she’s in her new room before starting any kind of routine to mitigate any disturbances for her.
So, once we’re in the new house, I’m taking the leap into gentle sleep training. Not out of desperation or guilt but out of love, for her and for us. Because her little growing body needs proper rest and for us to be the best parents we can be, so do we.
Because I wouldn’t know where to begin, I reached out to my lovely community (you!) for recommendations, experts who helped you find your sanity again through sleep. For any other parents running on caffeine and chaos right now, I’ll pop some of your suggestions below. Hopefully, they can help you too.
Followers’ suggestions:
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Shira Katz — @shirababysleepconsultant
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Midwife Mumma — @themidwifemumma
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The Gentle Sleep Coach — @thegentlesleepcoach
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Tiny Sleep Co — @tinysleepco
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The Gentle Sleep Specialist — @thegentlesleepspecialist
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Plan B Sleep — @planbsleepconsulting
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Sleep By Steph — @sleepbysteph
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Cherish Your Sleep — @cherishyoursleep
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Sleep Sweet Consulting — @sleepsweetconsulting
