If you're here looking for a magic formula to get your baby sleeping through the night stat, complete with laminated routines and minute-by-minute logs—you’ve wandered into the wrong corner of the internet. Click out now and find your people. I promise I won’t be offended!
But if you're the kind of parent whose baby may co-sleep some nights (or always!), eats when hungry (not when the schedule says so), naps on the go, and treats your bedtime as more of a vague suggestion than a rule… then hey, grab me a caramel almond latte on the way over, you’re my kind of human.
Disclaimer: I don’t judge either way. Routines work for some. But here, it’s a two-way street. If you swear by cry-it-out and wake windows, that’s cool. Just don’t come at me because I fancy sharing my bed with a milk-drunk goblin who calls the shots.
Few parenting topics are as loaded (and as smugly debated) as sleep. Society loves a “good baby”, right? Which usually translates to “sleeps through the night.” Did you happen to crack that mythical sleep code early? Congrats, you win modern parenting. Still rocking a zombie toddler at 3am? Prepare to be pitied by Instagram strangers and your grandma Edith, who will constantly remind you what worked for her 56 years ago.
But let me tell you something radical: every baby is different. Wild, hey?
Take my crew, for example:
Bobby: 12 hours by 12 weeks old. Breastfed with one formula bottle at night. Textbook baby. Gold star.
Florence: Slept like a dream from birth, then hit 4 months and turned into Dom Dolla. She’s now 8 and bedtime is still a diplomatic negotiation between nations.
Esmé: At 10 weeks, she started sleeping 8-hour stretches while we were in London. We’ve now been back a month and as we creep towards the 4-month regression, sissy is regressing hard.
So yeah. Sleep “success” is not a straight line… let’s call it a scribble.
Sure, I get why routines are beloved. Babies thrive on predictability, we’re told. And I have plenty of friends and sisters who are schedule queens. I respect it. I also acknowledge that I currently have the privilege of staying home, while I know some parents need to return to work sooner and therefore require more structure.
But in my house, in my personal situation? It’s not “baby needs routine”, it’s “baby needs mum.” I mean, I’m 34 and shit, I still need my mum. The idea that you can grow a human inside you for 9 months literally sharing your blood, oxygen and heartbeat and then expect them to self-soothe alone in a dark room at 7pm sharp? I’m gonna pass.
Let’s run through some perks of a chilled sleep approach:
1. Bye-Bye Societal Pressure
Let’s be real: parenting books, forums, and unsolicited advice make it seem like if your baby isn’t sleeping 12 hours by 3 months, you’re failing. But a relaxed approach lets you say a whole lotta get fkd* to all that noise and do what actually works for your family.
2. Stronger Bonds
Tuning into your baby’s cues—rather than the clock—can deepen that instinctive connection. It’s about trust, comfort, and meeting them where they are, not where the baby book says they should be.
3. Lifestyle-Friendly
Got older kids? Shift work? School pick-ups and after-school activities? Strict routines can be a logistical nightmare when trying to work around multiple schedules. A flexible approach means your baby learns to roll with the chaos—and in the case of little E, she currently has no choice but to ride the wave with us all.
4. Natural Rhythms Win
Instead of battling your baby’s sleep patterns, you start to work with them. Sometimes that means a nap in the pram. Sometimes it’s a midnight cuddle. You adapt. They adapt. Everyone survives.
I’m well aware it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. But is anything, when it comes to babies? Yes, a relaxed approach takes patience and stamina. But for me, the payoff—less stress and pressure on yourself, more connection, and a lifestyle that actually fits you—makes the chaos worth it. I keep reminding myself how long I wanted this, so I try to simply enjoy the ride… as f*cked up as it might be at times!!
YOU DO YOU.
Whether you live by the clock or wing it with a half-eaten banana in your hair and an arse that needs a good wash, what matters is that you’re doing your best. Sleep training, co-sleeping, strict schedules, no schedules—none of it defines your worth as a parent.
Trust your gut. Trust your baby. And if nothing else… get yourself a damn good coffee machine.
